


your bones have been my bed frame

by nylandeer



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, babygate, brief sex scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 20:19:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4362812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nylandeer/pseuds/nylandeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis wants Eleanor to find out what's going on from him rather than the papers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	your bones have been my bed frame

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bisexuyeol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexuyeol/gifts).



> This is me dealing with what's going on. It was also written at 2am and I don't feel like editing really, so here it is.

_and both hands_  
_now use both hands_  
_oh, no don't close your eyes_  
_I am writing_  
_graffitti on your body_  
_I am drawing the story of_  
_how hard we tried_  
_and your bones have been my bedframe_  
_and your flesh has been my pillow_  
_I am waiting for sleep_  
_to offer up the deep_  
_with both hands_

_-Ani DiFranco, Both Hands_

_\-----------_

 

They’ve agreed to meet in neutral territory. Well, as neutral as they can get seeing as there’s no way they can meet in public without creating a tabloid shit-storm. So that’s how they end up in Liam’s hotel room on a Monday afternoon in the middle of Los Angeles.

They hugged when Eleanor came in, exchanged pleasantries, tried to be as normal as possible, but now a silence has descended over the room. It’s not that it’s awkward, but it’s not _not_  awkward.

“So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” Eleanor asks, staring at the spotted marble of the table they’re seated at.

Louis clears his throat, and Eleanor glances up, notices his gaze looking everywhere but at her.

 

-

Louis had one day off in London between legs of the tour, and Eleanor had planned to do this then, to say everything she needed to say face to face, but when Louis showed up at their flat, tired and disheveled and happy to see her, she chickened out.

He had kissed her in the kitchen, the small of her back pressed up against the counter, arms wrapped tightly around her.

“I missed you,” he whispered between soft, unrushed kisses. “I always miss you.”

“I know,” she whispered in return.

She grabbed his hand and dragged him towards their room, shutting the door behind them to keep Bruce out. He pushed her against the back of it, his body pressed against every inch of hers, skin against skin against skin. He pulled away from her mouth, smirking, before he drops to his knees in front of her. He had her jeans undone and around her ankles before she could prepare herself, and suddenly  his mouth was on her, licking and sucking and leaving her gasping and fisting her hands in his hair.

 

-

It’s not as if they haven’t seen each other since the break up. He let her keep the flat, said it was always more hers than it was his anyways. He came to pick up his things during one of his rare breaks. She pretended she hadn’t seen the photos of him in all the papers, out with a different girl every night in every different city he’s been to.

He petted Bruce lazily as he asked about work, and she asked about the band –carefully avoiding any mention of Zayn’s departure. She’d seen his mum a few times too, once for coffee, once just around town. But this was different.

“Louis?”

“El, I,” he falters, can’t get the words out. “Something has happened, and I wanted to tell you myself. I want you to know. Before it’s in the papers and on the internet, okay?”

“Louis, what’s happened?”

“El I…” he stammers, seemingly searching for the right words. “I’m gonna have a baby.”

 

-

She called him while he was in Tokyo.

“El? It’s four in the fookin’ morning. Is everything alright?”

She glances at the clock on her phone, informing her that it is eight in the evening. Shit, time differences.

“I’m sorry Lou, just call me back later. I forgot where you were.”

“No, no,” he says, stifling a yawn down the line. “I’m up now. What is it?”

“I’ve been thinking, like a lot lately, and I think that maybe we should break up.”

“I’m sorry El, the line cut out or something. What’d ya say?”

She took a deep breath in, steadied herself, and repeated what she’d just said word for word. Silence on the other end.

“Lou?”

“Um,” he stutters, “uh. Could we wait to have this conversation until the next time I’m home?”

“And when’s that? A month right?”

“Uh,” she heard him tapping at something, “March 25th. Yeah. Almost a month I guess.” A pause, a shaky breath. “Well could you fly out here or something?”

“No Louis, I can’t.”

“El I’ll pay for the ticket. Just for a day. So we can talk. So we can work this out.”

“I have a job, Louis,” she snapped. “I have a job and friends and a _life_  that exist outside of your orbit. I can’t just pack up and fly to whatever country you’re currently in because you think there’s something to be talked out.”

“El, love, hold on-“

“No, Louis. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I can’t do this anymore.”

“I thought… I thought everything was good. What’s wrong? What happened? What did I do?”

“Nothing Lou,” she sighed, scrubbed her hand over her eyes. “You’re just gone, all the time. And if I ever want to see you I have to fly halfway across the world for a few days of interrupted time.”

“El, I… I can’t help that. You know that. But we’ve always managed it before, what’s different now?”

She feet her eyes well up, right on the edge of tears, throat burning every so slightly.

“You know Lou, I had this idea in my head of what it would be like for us,” she said, her voice almost a whisper. “You’d do the whole band thing for a few years, and then it would slow down, and you’d be around more, and I’d graduate university and then we could start a life together.”

“El, you know what you signed up for. We’ve talked about this.”

“No Louis. I didn’t know. I thought you would have a few years of this insanity, this constant worldwide touring, but it’s going on five now. And we didn’t talk about this, you talked and I listened. But not once have you ever listened to what I wanted.”

“What do you want El?” he pleaded. “Just tell me. I’ll do it. I’ll do anything.”

“I want a normal life. I want to get married. I want kids, god I want kids. And I know you do too.”

“But-“

“Not right now. I know,” she said, throat burning. “But what if it’s always ‘not right now’? What if it never slows down? What if I’m with you for five more years of this insanity and you don’t even have the time to propose? What if it’s too late for us to have kids by then? I don’t want to become a mom when I’m too old to see my kids and grandkids.”

“I’ll propose to you El, I’ll do it tomorrow. Today. Will you marry me?”

“You know I’d marry you in a heartbeat Louis, but you didn’t answer my real questions.”

She could hear him breathing down the line, in and out, in and out.

“I can’t have kids yet El. I’m just too busy, and I wouldn’t be around, and you know I can’t do that. I just can’t.

“Not right now.”

“No El that’s not-“

 

-

“A baby?” she asks, dumfounded at the revelation. “With who? Did Harry figure out the secret to male conception? Is Larry Stylinson real?”

“El I’m serious.”

“With who?” she scoffs, “you’re not even seeing anyone.”

“Uh yeah. It’s uh, with this girl Briana, who I hooked up with after we broke up.”

Her mind is racing a million miles an hour. His rebound. He knocked up his rebound. After three and a half years with her, after refusing to get married or get pregnant because it wasn’t the right time, he knocked up his rebound.

“Are you uh, gonna say it’s yours?”

“Yeah,” he says, a smile starting to spread. “I’m actually looking for a place in L.A. so I can be here for Briana and for the baby, once that’s a thing.”

“And uh, how are you feeling about all this?”

“A little nervous, but mostly excited. I’m gonna have a baby. Me. You know how broody I am. And now I’m gonna have my own little baby. Well, and Briana’s baby. She’s doing the hard part.”

“Uh,” she stutters, now the one lost for words. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Well congrats would probably be a good place to start,” he laughs.

“I can’t say that. I can’t. I’m sorry Louis,” she whispers. “I… I have to go.”

She stands up and walks towards the door, grabbing her purse from where it’s sitting on the hall table. Her mind is going a thousand miles a minute and it feels like it will never slow down.

“El,” he calls after her, “El wait!”

“Uh thanks for warning me,” she calls over her shoulder. “Tell the boys I say hi.”

She slams the door and before she knows what she’s doing she’s running down the hallway. She slams open the door to the stairwell and slumps down with her back against the door. She feels a panic attack coming on, heart racing, head spinning, lungs clenching around themselves.

“Not right now,” she whispers to herself, tears spilling freely now. “Not right now my ass.”


End file.
